Letters To You

It doesn’t matter what you say. It doesn’t matter what you do. You aren’t going to hurt me. You aren’t going to make me mad. Your trying as hard as you can to push me away. I know why. And so do you. My frustrations have reached the point where I felt like I couldn’t take anymore. I was so overwhelmed that day that when I said I wanted to walk, it was for your benefit as well. I thought that it would be easier this way, for the both of us.

I have never in my life loved someone the way that I love you. My heart has never felt so full. Even though at times, I felt crushed. Like I couldn’t breathe. My heart ached so badly for you to just be there. To hold my hand and tell me that everything was going to be okay. That at the end of every day, love would prevail for the both of us. Eventually. Someday. I knew all the realities. I knew that the us that I wanted couldn’t happen now. I knew that it would take time. I was willing to wait. I have always been here…waiting.

I’ve become so numb to the pain of you breaking my heart, that today didn’t feel any worse than any other of those days. I’ve come to expect it. I wait for it. The only difference is today is it. You turned into an ugly person that wants nothing more than to make me feel as miserable as you are. I’m sorry I can’t fix it. I’m sorry I can’t steal you away and make everything better. That is one thing that I can not do. Those are decisions that you have to make. You have to choose where you want to be. The reality is that you are where you want to be. Whether you see it or not. You act helpless as if you are stuck. Your not. And you know that.

Through it all, I will always be here. That is how far my love goes for you. Forever. Always.