Letters To You

I don’t know how you do it. How you can continuously pull me back in when all I want to do is walk away. Your one of the only people in my life that I have ever allowed to do this to me. I thought I was stronger than that. I thought that I could have the strength to just run as fast as I could in the opposite direction without looking back. Sadly…I can not. I have tried harder at leaving you than anything I have ever done in my life. You know how to keep me coming back. Even in your darkest of days…and mine too.

I’m not sure if we are really meant to be together or if we are consistently playing a game of russian roulette. Trying to fulfill something within ourselves that we can’t get from the people that should be giving it to us. I’m trying to decide exactly how long all of this will go on before one or both of us throw in the hand and just give up. I don’t want to give up and I don’t think you want to either. This relationship has exhausted me to the point where I am all together tired. My mind, my body, my soul…is tired.

I keep pushing on. In hopes. That eventually there will be a brighter tomorrow for us. That maybe if we just keep at it, fate will put us where we are suppose to be. Some days those words look truer than others. While other days, it seems dark and never attainable. I want to be with you. More than anything. I want to spend my days giving you what you deserve. Treating you the way that you should be treated. Without restraint. Without stipulation. I want to show you what a normal life…a normal relationship is like. With the give…and the take. I want to show you how love truly feels, what it truly means. I want to give you all of me. But, I need all of you in return.