Letters To You |
When we are up...we're up. When we are down...we're down. This is the only way I know how to deal with it. Make sense of it. |
This is more than likely the last installment of writing anything to you. It took me this long to realize…exactly where I stand. It isn’t with you. It will never be beside you. It took you going to jail because of your crazy, fucked up baby momma situation for me to realize that this cycle…this vicious cycle…will continue for the rest of your life…or hers.
I can’t be that girl. I can’t be the one waiting for you to decide where you want to be. I can’t be the one that gets only a small piece of you. I loved you. With all of my heart. Every last bit of my soul. I loved you. For you. For what I thought you stood for. For who you were when you were with me. I will never understand it. That part of your brain that continues to want to want her. In any way. In any shape. In any form.
You have helped me realize what I have. Here. At home. A great family. That loves me. A man…a real man. That would do anything for me. I am his world. I am the biggest part of his world. I am the only woman in his world that he needs. Because of you, I almost lost it. I almost destroyed a pretty damn good thing.
At one point, I was willing to do anything for you. Now. I will never do anything. Ever. Enjoy your fucked up, insane life. You are right where you need to be.
